CRUISING THE MEXICAN RIVIERA

Our journey down the coast of the Mexican Riviera, takes passengers from the port of San Diego to the towns of Loreto, La Paz, and Cabo San Lucas and back again. Four days at sea and three days exploring on land allows you to obtain as much Mexican silver as you can afford, without blowing an entire mortgage payment. And you can get the best deals in Loreto, the first stop on the itinerary. Here you'll find excellent buys on earrings, and bracelets encrusted with precious stones. Vendors are eager to bargain and the more you buy, the more leverage you have. Loreto is not crowded, nor are you put upon by street vendors. You can choose to sit here all day, in a quiet caf�, and people-watch, or you can take any one of a number of Holland America shore excursion packages that include snorkeling, horseback riding, or a Mexican fiesta and clambake.

Three hundred years old and still relatively "undiscovered", Loreto is one of the oldest cities in Mexico and the first capital of the Baja. Founded in 1697 by Jesuits, it now holds a population of about 10,000; some of them retired Americans who like the lifestyle, food, and fishing. There's not much to do in Loreto which is fine with these golden agers, because they much prefer a private, rural lifestyle to life in the fast lane. We met several of these friendly folks when we wandered into Mexico Lindo, a quaint, off the beaten path eatery on Hildago Street. They welcomed us with cheerful smiles and told us that the water here was fine, and that the Ceviche, and smoked pork chops in Chipotle Sauce was fabulous. We took them at their word, and topped off the meal with a great tasting piece of Mexican apple pie.

La Paz, the next port city, is Baja Peninsula's commercial, cultural, and political center and filled with delightful shops and restaurants including La Terraza, the oldest restaurant in town. Here we had a heck of a good time downing 22-ounce margaritas made with hefty amounts of Cointreau, Tequila, lemon, and orange liqueur.

After lunch, we popped into some of the stores that line the picturesque streets, and visited the "Mercado" an indoor/outdoor market in the middle of town where we found everything from clothing, pots, and jewelry, to produce, and meat-including the head of a dead cow which one vendor seemed insistent on selling me as a local trinket.

An easy reach from La Paz are isolated beaches, calm bays, and pristine offshore islands. A visit to "Los Islotes" is a good bet, if you want to go swimming with a variety of marine life, including sea lions. In fact Los Islotes, means "sea lion colony" and the area is a national park where you can enjoy playing and swimming with baby sea lions, who apparently love to have people around.

The last stop on the cruise is Cabo San Lucas. A deluxe Whale Watch and coastal cruise is offered between January and March. In fact, anything that takes you away from the center of town is a good thing--like sea kayaking, scuba diving, sportfishing, or snorkeling.

Even a bus tour of the coastal highlights is a much better bet than trying to scuttle through the hot and dusty heart of Cabo San Lucas. In a fit of madness that I can only attribute to too much sun, I decided that downtown Cabo might be a nice place to stroll through. This proved to be an unfortunate choice. Crazed street vendors attached themselves to me like pit bulls and tried to sell me everything from T-shirts to trinkets. Trying to maneuver through this gift gauntlet was like trying to float upstream without a paddle. There was no way around it. Eventually I was accosted by a man who kept pulling lizards out his pants.

Is that an iguana in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me," I quipped, as he plopped four of his pet reptiles on my shoulders. He gestured at my camera to take my picture, which, of course, I couldn't resist for two bucks. It was only when he started pulling iguanas out of secret places that I didn't want to know about, that I made a beeline back to the ship.

Little did I know that this infamous "Day of the Living Iguanas", was merely a prelude to the "March of the Baked Alaskas". This remarkable dining extravaganza, held aboard ship that night, featured tuxedoed marching waiters whose arrival was heralded by triumphant music. The troupe proceeded to move down the grand curved staircase of the two-tiered dining room, balancing gigantic plates of Baked Alaska crowned with sizzling sparklers in their hands. Appreciative passengers broke into cheers and applause at the sight. Even though I was surrounded by windows on three sides, with a sweeping view of the sea--all I could think about was diving into that spectacular dessert, and coming up for seconds

On a typical Holland America seven-day cruise, passengers seem to throw caution to the wind, and eat like pigs, consuming as much as 8,000 pounds of beef, 1,250 pounds of pork, 4,000 pounds of fish, and 3,000 pounds of poultry, along with 12,000 pounds of fresh fruit, and 22,000 pounds of veggies in the course of the trip. (However, these figures do not account for cunning passengers like myself, who bring along expandable pants in three sizes.) Aside from the food, there are some things about Holland America Lines that set it apart from its competitors. The daily program is filled with a full schedule of activities geared to enrich the guests' experience and expand their knowledge. This includes an art and history tour scheduled on every cruise to offer information about the onboard collection of art and antiques, worth approximately $ 2 million. In addition, live art auctions offer prints and original works at 40 percent to 80 percent below retail price. Complimentary champagne is served during the event.

There are other notable features that make this cruise worthwhile, such as the spacious cabins, the state-of-the-art Ocean Spa, and the spectacular 26-foot high fountain that extends from the Lower Promenade Deck to the Upper Promenade. Plus there's a rather unusual "tipping not required" policy which means that you won't be solicited for tips. If you want to show special attention to someone who has offered you good service, you can decide how much, and who to give it to.

Holland America vessels are designed to carry fewer guests than similar class ships. So you'll be pleasantly surprised to find the restaurants, lounges, and decks less crowded, which, in turn, indicates that you'll get more special attention. In fact, you'll be so pampered and spoiled by the time the trip ends, you won't ever want to leave. My advice is to immediately book another cruise, so that you won't have to do your own nails